When have you been aware that your life energy was directly being used by God?

This question was brought up by Connie at prayer group this morning.  And follow up question to it was "What did that tell you about the gifts God has given you"

     I struggled with answering this because I couldn't think of an answer. I thought about how I spent a lot of time with my nieces listening and just being with them but besides that??

So then I started thinking about my God given gifts and thought how it relates to what I have been contemplating on lag couple days.  I really need to spend some time in prayer to come up with what they are because I can't take them. I feel like once I name those gifts it will help me discover the next step I am supposed to take.  I know it has to be something creative, something with nature, something independent, free schedule wise.

Last meditation

I found that last meditation on la website and it struck a chord. We are supposed to handle what God throws at us, and with his help he can make us see the riches that can come out of it.   I always think I have to have a plan for what's next, I stress and worry myself to death about the next chapters of my life.  But it is only in the times where I completely let God take the reins and lead me that I find complete peace. (Take my yoke and I will give you rest - Matthew 11:39)

    How many times does he have to pound it in my head that he never leads me astray, that he always reveals to me. Yet I consistently doubt that it will be revealed, that I will be fumbling on rocks unsure of my path.

   My prayer today is once again to trust that when timing is right it shall be revealed and to just take notice if the blessings and graces I continue to receive.

When can I see clearly now

It should come as no surprise that I'm stressed this time of year. Money often falls short because of summer activities, birthdays and less hours at work.

    My time also falls short causing anxiety  on my end. You would think I've learned by now to just accept July as crazy busy stress month but I never seem to remember.  I still have this vision of being a kid when summer seemed to drag on forever with nothing to do and it was so boring.   We were so much better at just taking life one day at a time as a kid. No anxieties and stresses weighing us down.   

    I went to Soak city/ cedar point last weekend and I actually felt like I was in vacation for once this summer!!  I can tell a lot of my stressing right now is coming from money stress, I've been having to use the credit cards a ton and I know that it is just more debt padded in to what we already have.

     I just want to feel that exhilaration of being debt free, of being able to use our bank card for everything instead of the credit card for most.   I want to be able to go to dinner and not be concerned if I put a glass of wine on it.  The frustrating part is every time we get chunks paid down then it just adds right up again. 

   I would really need to be working full time but I love being a mother that is home, it gives me the most enjoyment I have ever felt compared to any job. It's the only place that I feel like I truly belong. 

    So the only other option is moving out of this house since that is where all our money goes. Unfort at this point of time if we moved now we would lose money and that would set us back. Plus the latest news of our basement makes our selling price drop to potential buyers so even more money lost. 

    That is the most frustrating part right now, if I'm where God wants us to be then why is it a constant struggle. I see so many families that are blessed financially and it frustrates me and makes me mad.  And not only do we struggle  but my inlaws are in financial struggle as well and that weighs heavy on my husbands mind and heart.

    I know in my heart that God always has a plan but I just wish I could see the financial/job/ living plan alittle more clear.

Family

Family makes me crae crae and I need to dwelve into that more and find healing. But times like these were I am just frustrated and need to deal :(

Just say no

I am learning this lesson of saying no over and over in the past year. I've gotten so much better at it that when I come to a time where I'm not good at it, it throws me for a loop.

    I am not excited about this long holiday weekend I realized because I was trying to coordinate all my free moments to help my mom with babysitting some family members. And now that I'm thinking about it, I shouldn't be spending all my time helping because its my vacation weekend too.  I always extend myself to thin for family and I need to start saying no, setting boundaries and respecting MY family time.