Patoochi Burgers

     It was one of those random unplanned nights where I found myself at my parents.  They were packing to leave out west in the morning.  Alan had been wanting to see them so I decided to stop in before they left.

Even though my mom still had a lot to do, her and my father sat down and asked me how things were.

     One thing I love about my dad is he is funny.  My mom was in her stressed packing mode flinging out maps and highlighting their route while my dad was just sitting being in the present.  All of a sudden as we are talking about their trip dad says something about how there will be  patoochie burgers to eat out west.

     I laugh until tears are in my eyes because its just one of my dads "things"- patoochie burgers.  He made them up and will randomly throw them in stories.  I hadn't heard the word in so long that I had forgotten about it. 

    Upon driving home I was thankful for my farewell visit, short but sweet that I had with them.  And I was reminded about the joy that my parents always bring.  The belly crying laughs that I share

with my dad and just the gratefulness for  the people they are. 

SMA

     This week we found out my two year old nephew Luke has SMA type 2.  He could possibly be in a wheelchair and other complications through the years.  I had a feeling before it was confirmed that it was SMA so maybe I was more prepared for the news.  

    It also could be my delayed processing, often when I first hear big news I don't react right away, it takes awhile for news to sink in and feelings to develop over the matter. 

    I wonder though, in this case that as I get older and accumulate more wisdom I now have tools for how to deal with adversity.  The years that both my father and father in law went through great health problems was also the year I was dealing with postpartum depression, miscarriages and financial strife. 

    I look back and I am really amazed at the rocks and rubble that I did climb through to get on top.   I think through these trials and also through my strong faith and dependence on God that this news didn't shake my boat.  

    Some might say I'm naive to not think of this issue as life or death, and maybe it's because it's not my child and people  always react stronger to their own children.  But I think it's more a knowing and a trust that everything will be fine. God has gotten me through amazing circumstances and he always will.  He will give my sister the tools and strength no matter what comes her way.  

    Maybe this is a good lesson for all that life isn't ever going to be perfect. That tragedy will always knock on our door but to realize that we are stronger than the tragedy.  That in the end we will be with our Father in heaven.  I Thank you God almighty for your love, your comfort and your peace.  

Peace

   I've really been prioritizing my prayer time lately.  Making time with God daily and I feel the grace of peace.  Sometimes when I get in my selfish mode and ignore the fruits he has, I find myself just in a place of discontent, anxiety, restlessness.  Then it's these moments when I put the effort in to know him, to spend time with him, that I see the amazing peace he gives me.  And I treasure it, I just want to bottle it, because it feels so amazing- probably how Heaven will feel.  Things work, relationships are enjoyable, and I make it through, even on tough days or stressful situations, I'm able to handle it different.  I am filled with such gratitude, amazement and contentment at the really important things in this very short life we live here in earth.  I cannot thank you enough Father for the growth and wisdom. I've battled some piercing thorns in the past few years, but it's always those times that I really grow closer to you.  And for that I cannot thank you enough.