Wisdom

I'm truly learning that with time comes wisdom.  Maybe some things just can't be learned when we are young, or maybe denial is so strong that it takes chips to knock down the iceberg? Whatever it is, I've made progress.

    I'm walking away from the denial, and I'm learning about how I can make MYself better when some things might never change.  I can't make him stop drinking,but I can control how it makes me feel.  And I'm tired, soooo tired of letting it make me feel sad... And mad... And disappointed.  So I pick up my crown and I place it on my head because I'm my own ruler.  I will not be codependent on you for my own happiness.  I will not pick up your slack to keep things going, to give the shiny impression. You have chosen how to spend your nights and you have chosen your lover.  And I will no longer be weighed down to being chosen second.  I deserve more then that.  And it doesn't mean I do not love you, it doesn't mean I will leave you and it doesn't mean you are a bad person.  But it does mean that it does not have to affect me the same way anymore.  Today is different.  Today I've stepped out of the clouds.