Coldplay

Attended the Coldplay concert last night. It was mind blowing. Even though it was a huge venue they did a great job of making it intimate and not commercialized.  It was one of those concerts where I was so PRESENT that I wanted to stay. There. Forever. Lost in the music, the piano chords, the light show, the glowing bracelets. Their music hits inside of me like the striking of needle on skin. It fills me up with happiness, sadness, longing and joy. It sifts through my body like a wave of smoke wafting by being soaked in and expelled. 

There are some significant songs by them that are memories of life events.  They were the album that came out when Randy and I had just met and I was going through health issues and doubt. And another song was the song for our first born that we miscarried. I remember driving to my parents on Ryan road and the tears streamed down my face mourning the baby we only learned we had that morning listening to "Fix it"

   Their music makes me think of our relationship- our marriage- the ups and downs- the real life struggles that only those that have been together this long can really know of.  It's a euphoria and a dance of positive and negative. But isn't that life itself. Nothing is filled with constant beauty, constant joy, constant love.  And I know if I do not have figured it out but I like that I'm REAL now- that those who really know me know that what you see is what you get.  I'm melancholy and my relationships are melancholy and I will take that over the fake image of happiness that so many to play off. I'm me.